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Gentleman's Single-use Unlubricated Monocles


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Gentlemen (and Ladies!); Have you ever found yourself in Need of that Certain Protection one wants for a Night On The Town?

Stop talking like a Victorian stereotype!

Okay, sorry, sorry! It's habit-forming.

What is it, you ask? It is a monocle (with a 2.5" chain!) inside a sealed, tearable wrapper. If you require an instantaneous boost to classiness, this product is for you.

Just to be absolutely clear: It is not a condom. It is made of hard plastic and metal. If you attempt to use it as a condom, you will definitely hurt yourself, and you may experience the miracle of life.

Available in three sizes: 

  • One single-use unlubricated monocle.
  • 3 monocles in a lovingly designed paperboard box. 
  • 25 monocles in a larger display-style container. We see you are a very "active" individual. Congratulations on your success.
See more: Accessories

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