Gentleman's Single-use Unlubricated Monocles
Gentlemen (and Ladies!); Have you ever found yourself in Need of that Certain Protection one wants for a Night On The Town?
Stop talking like a Victorian stereotype!
Okay, sorry, sorry! It's habit-forming.
What is it, you ask? It is a monocle (with a 2.5" chain!) inside a sealed, tearable wrapper. If you require an instantaneous boost to classiness, this product is for you.
Just to be absolutely clear: It is not a condom. It is made of hard plastic and metal. If you attempt to use it as a condom, you will definitely hurt yourself, and you may experience the miracle of life.
Available in three sizes:
- One single-use unlubricated monocle.
- 3 monocles in a lovingly designed paperboard box.
- 25 monocles in a larger display-style container. We see you are a very "active" individual. Congratulations on your success.